Today I learned a lot about myself, I never knew how much of an inspiring person I am. I don't care if I don't inspire other people, it's me that I inspire and impress. I was looking through my new poetry book, and I was reading through my works. I didn't know how much my words really meant, it's weird how even I can be such an inspiring person.

Since the year is coming to a close, with only one week left. I've been thinking a lot, and I mean deep thinking. I'm not trying to bring up the past, that's not the case at all. I'm looking over this past year in general. How good it's been to me, how much I've changed, how much everyone around me has changed.

I remember my first day being a sophomore. I felt awkward and out of place because I was dressed like a girl, and not in my "normal" guy cloths that the student body was use to seeing me in. I remember Chef freaking out on me because I had gotten out of wrestling. When he heard he felt my head and said "Are you sure you're not running a fevor". Now I look at myself today;

I've already dropped the girly act that I was portraying, I never felt like myself when I dressed like that. I haven't gone back to the guyish cloths, I've just sorta created my own trend. I've gotten into Christian music, and become really religious. When you see me in the hall, I'm not known as "Ginger", but "GiGi". I've grown to be the special person in the school, that all the teachers really like.

This year I feel has been my healing year. I've never been able to let go of my past; I never allowed others to know that, but it still ate at me each and everyday. This year I've somehow started to detach from my past, let it all go. I think it's both a mixture of the people I've grown close to and talked to, and also the fact that I have been counseling myself through my poetry.

I've opened up to people this year, I've revealed a lot of things that I believed that I never would in my entire lifetime. I've shared feelings, regrets, sorrows, and pains with remarkable souls. I've brought joy to the hearts of many, and they have brought life into mine. I've become an important asset to this World, that other's see as an individual that could be of somewhat greatness later on in life.

Sometimes I wonder just how I've been able to enter into this land and be so popular in the eyes of people of greatness? How is it that I've become such a special person, when I'm so selfish? When I go to school, it's for myself to move on over the past; not for anybody else. When I work my hiney off in my work, it's so that I can climb my ladder to success; not to make anyone else feel proud. But why do people feel proud of me, what have I been able to do for them?

When I look at myself in the mirror, I see a confused individual. I don't see someone of any special treatment. It's what others say about me that makes me realize that I am this special someone. I am of somewhat higher greatness already. Not just in my academics, but in my knowledge of this World. I'm not perfect, and never will be; I just know that with determination and will power, I can give back to the World with what God has granted me.

Con mucho amor,
Gigi